why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
