idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
