This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
