No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
