Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
