We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
