i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
