it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
