The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
