I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
