I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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