I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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