is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
