she looked like the before picture.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
