So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
