They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
