I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
