Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
