Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
