But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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