Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
