wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
where does the pee come out of this thing
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
