I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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