Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
