OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
either way he was missing a nipple.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The uberlube is also flammable
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
