forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
