He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
