The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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