Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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