Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
