Sponge bath it is.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
