I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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