There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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