i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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