We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
