Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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