i just google imaged poop.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
areolas are like halos for boobs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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