I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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