Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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