I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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