BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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