You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
