Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
