I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
