Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
