Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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