I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
