it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
