Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
