Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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