mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
